A feminist breakdown of ACDC's song "You Shook Me All Night Long" or, why this song never fails to make me do my sexy walk

Hello my wonderful readers who hopefully still exist! I am breaking my long radio silence to bring you a very serious topic of discussion: the classic, 1980 rock song You Shook Me All Night Long by those time-honored rock legends, AC lightening bolt DC.

The lightening bolt is not silent. You've been saying it wrong all these years. 

More specifically, I am here to discuss how this song is not only in my top-five songs to strip to (you have to be prepared) but it is also a feminist anthem. Armed only with a list of the lyrics and my only iffy (read: totally made up) knowledge of the feminist manifesto, we proceed!

Lets start at the beginning:

She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean

Was the best damn woman that I ever seen

She had the sightless eyes, telling me no lies

Knocking me out with those American thighs

First of all, the last line is my favorite line ever written from anything ever. (Note: slight hyperbole has been used for effect.) Also, I have no idea what sightless eyes are, but since it was the eighties I'm going to assume that is referring to someone who has used so much hair spray they have rendered themselves blind. And yes, the first two lines do present a woman as analogous to a car, but can any of you think of one thing men show more respect to than their cars? (Hey, I never said I wasn't going to make sexist generalizations) 

Besides, who doesn't want to be compared to this? It is sexier than David Beckham. 

Also they use the word 'woman' rather than (BE PREPARED FOR UNCENSORED VULGARITY GASP) bitch, ho, slut or skank. Which is nice. Not that I'm not a bitch or wouldn't be a slut if I wanted to, I just don't like being reminded of it in song form.

Moving on:    

Taking more than her share, had me fighting for air

She told me to come but I was already there

The walls start shaking, earth was quaking

My mind was aching, we were making it

Now this part is what I really like, because it is the part in the song where the singer doesn't just admit to, he revels in the fact that holy shit this woman is more than he can even handle. He's not embarrassed by it; he simply celebrates the fact that she can rock him like a geological event and he cannot even hope to keep up. It's like what I imagine it will be like if I ever get a chance to eat one of those giant challenge sundaes from Ben and Jerry's. 

Having you might kill me, but that's why I love you so much, ice cream sexy woman analogy.

The final reason why I think this song is a tender love song to the raw, fierce power of women everywhere is the feeling I get when I hear it (and by hear it I mean obsessively play it inside my own head as I walk to class.) I can be wearing a baggy sweatshirt, completely free of makeup (because internet or apply beauty products, easiest choice ever) and as soon as I even think of this song, there is a spring in my step and a swivel in my hips and right then and there, I am the owner of those American thighs. It is as uplifting to me as gospel music is to people with less ambiguous morals. 

So ladies, if you are ever feeling down about yourself, don't wallow in despair, don't drown your sorrows in the aforementioned giant ice cream (because that's for happy times). Just put on this song, grab hold of your sexiness, and go out and shake up the world. 

All night long.