Friday, May 6, 2011
Like Rob Lowe, if he was older and had a greasy ponytail
So the other night I was watching Megashark vs. Giant Octopus (you are jealous) with my friends. And then I was suddenly shocked, and not just by the amazing special effects and flawless acting. No, I was shocked to find that one of those talented actors was in fact Debbie Gibson!
“That’s totally that 80’s pop idol girl. I swear. What is she doing in this movie?!”
Collective response: “What the hell are you talking about?”
“No, seriously, I don’t remember her name but that’s her. I think she used to perform in malls or something.
Google it! Do it now!”
As anyone who is a fan of SciFi original movies or is an avid follower of Ms. Gibson’s career know, I was of course right. Except maybe about the mall thing. That may have been Tiffany.
But that is not the point of this story, and neither is the fact that this movie taught me that if sharks are big enough they can jump high enough to eat airplanes. (I don’t know what airplanes ever did to Megashark, but whatever it was made him seriously pissed).
No, the point is that I was born in 1992. I only lived eight years of my life outside of this annoying 2000s era which there is really no good name for. So how was I possibly alive in the 80s?
Perhaps another example is necessary. Later during that same movie a character came on screen and I remarked that he looked like a really messed up Rob Lowe.
The response I got was dead silence.
“Guys? Rob Lowe? I mean, if Rob Lowe were older and had a greasy ponytail. Don’t you think?”
Then I realized that none of my friends knew who Rob Lowe was. HOW WAS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE? I came to the strange realization that I couldn’t remember a single thing that Rob Lowe had acted in. How did I know who he was anyway? Where did this knowledge come from? Doesn’t everyone just know? Finally I remembered.
“The Outsiders! Rob Lowe was in the Outsiders! Anyone? Oh geez, how am I even friends with you people?”
I had always thought I lived in a certain kind of world. A world where everyone knew copious amounts of random 80s information. But on this night my perfect little world view was shattered. There was no longer any logical reason as to why I alone held this knowledge. The only explanation is that I was born in the 90s but lived through the 80s.
I know it is a lonely path ahead of me. It will be tough. I will probably be alienated by people my age. Few of my references will be understood. But I can live this way.
As an Outsider.
…No one? Really? It’s such a good movie! Gah!!!