Friday, September 9, 2011

I actually love my name, I just hate other people

I had an entirely different post half-written, but after going to the dentist yesterday I feel the need to write about something that happens to me a lot and always induces a wave of eye-twitching fury.

First of all, I had a new hygienist clean my teeth. This was bad in and of itself because it combined two things I despise: change and meeting new people. And then she got off to the absolute worst start possible.

“Thomas? Is Thomas here?”

At which point the receptionist helpfully supplied that her patient was in fact named Bailey and Thomas was the last name. She could have apologized, or acted at least a little embarrassed. But no.

“Oh, I just glanced at the name. I was expecting a guy. I bet that happens to you all the time.”

And yes, it does happen all the time. But that does not, in fact, make it any less irritating.

Now let me clarify for a second: the fact of the mistake is not what bothers me so much. I am quite aware that I was bestowed with two last names (or two first names depending upon your viewpoint), and that this can get a little confusing for people.

My problem is that usually when I get called by my last name instead of my first it happens when someone is reading it in last/first form, like on a role sheet at school. And that is the crux of my annoyance. Because it means they actually had to make an effort to get my name wrong.

Not following what I mean? Think about it. They are reading down a list of names such as:

Simon, Jessica
Taylor, Anna
Thomas, Bailey

So they say aloud “Jessica Simon, Anna Taylor, Thomas Bailey.” Do you see the problem? They had no trouble following the last/first pattern, but when they got to my name some demonic part of their brain decided to complete disregard that pattern just to piss me off.

Ok, maybe I’m being a little harsh. Being called Thomas is at least not as bad as the second most common reaction to my name.

“Bailey? I knew a dog named Bailey!”

Thank you for sharing. And now I shall destroy you. 

Does this dog have a people name or do I have a dog name?
Unfortunately I think I know the answer.  


  1. I can feel your least to some degree. My name is Brandina and you wouldn't believe the names I'm called like: Brenda, Brandi, Brandon, Brandalina. It's like they only read the very first few letter and simply guess at the rest. Even worse, if I correct them (especially when they take upon theirself to shorten it to Brandi for their own convenience - as if adding 'na' to the end is just too much for me to ask of them) they'll just repeat what they said the first time. It's really not hard to say and the effort it takes to read the extra 2 letters isn't much at all.

    As for knowing a dog named Bailey: When I was little, we had new neighbors move in next door. One morning my Mom heard the father yelling Brandi & Dusty with a considerably stern tone, which kind of made her angry seeing as how she didn't know him and her kids' names were Brandi & Dustin (who we called Dusty as a nickname). She dutifully approached him and demanded to know who the hell he thought he was talking to her kids that way when two dogs came running up to him. He'd been calling his dogs. I was so happy when that family moved away.

  2. Hehe you realize that Taylor and Simon are also first names for last names??? Have you seen the Cougar Town episode when Laurie is all into her boyfriend Smith Frank's lastname firstname and firstname lastname situation? :)

  3. At least you aren't Luna/Laura/La Una and at least they spell your name correctly Bailea. This is also the reason why naming my daughter made me cry for months. And yes I will mommyjack everyone of your new posts.

  4. I am named Ginger. Not short for anything. Actually named after a hurricane. Do you know how many Dogs/Cats/Horses/Hamsters/Guinea Pigs/Goldfish have been or are named GINGER!?!!? Not to mention all the Gilligan's Island, soda, cookie, & porn star comments I've had to endure. I feel your pain...

  5. I don't know about a dog named Bailey, but I do know about a liquor.

    Although I did go by my middle name in high school for a short time, because for some reason people read 'Bethany' and it registers as 'Brittany' and that's my younger sister's name. (My middle name is boring, though.)