Monday, September 12, 2011
I am appalled by that mouse's lack of integrity
This weekend I went camping with my family (and awesome friend Gennie) on the Deschutes River. This post is courtesy of my dad, who is extremely terrified of snakes. People usually think I get my…uniqueness from my mom because we share the same outlandish personality, but every once and a while my dad does something that reminds me that he’s as much of a weirdo as the rest of us.
“I hear a rattlesnake.”
“No dad, that is definitely a bird.”
“No, that’s a rattlesnake. He is riding a surfboard.”
“…so he’s on the other side of the river?”
“Well he came from that island but now he is coming across on his surfboard.” He laughs to himself. “I bet he has a little mouse riding in the front wearing a lifejacket.”
“Wouldn’t he eat the mouse? Why is he friends with it?”
“It is a traitor mouse. He tells the snake where all the other mice are so he can eat them.”
“Wow, that mouse is a dick.”
“And now the snake heard us all talking about where we are sleeping tonight. He’s going to crawl into your tent in the middle of the night.”
“Wait, aren’t rattlesnakes, like, the least sneaky of all snakes? It always announces itself.”
“The mouse will open the zipper for him.”
Of course it will. But I can’t help wondering how they paddled that surfboard.
Happy 51st birthday, daddy